Know Death, Know Life; Untangling the Knots

Awareness: see clearly, think it through, this is how it should be.Realization: see to the bottom, think it all the way through, this is how it should NOT be.The eight sufferings of human life — take suffering as your teacher — once you've thought it through: ah, so that's how it is.Today we're not just going to talk about suffering; we're also going to talk about pursuing joy.In this world, nine out of ten things don't go our way — only one in ten feels satisfying.Those nine-out-of-ten disappointments come from the eight sufferings (suffering of the body, of aging, of sickness, of death, of being parted from what you love, of not getting what you want, of meeting what you hate, of the five aggregates burning).Of course there's much more suffering than this — these eight are what Buddhism names, and eight alone is already unbearable.Rinpoche used to expand it to twelve — the other four aren't inside the eight — so truly there is a great deal of suffering.The moment you open your eyes, suffering starts walking.First: suffering of the body.This includes the stage of taking rebirth and the suffering after entering the womb.Of course taking rebirth isn't something we get to choose — unless you've practiced, attained dharmakāya realization, and gained mastery over your own soul; only then can you choose whether the place you're born into is suffering or joy.The suffering of the body is a big subject: how you choose the place of your birth, the family, the parents.Recently the TV has been showing many abused children, beaten half to death, some beaten to death — born only to suffer.Their lives last just two or three years, bruises all over them, and then they die; born only to be liberated.Of course we sometimes say this suffering is working off karma, repaying a debt — I come to receive this suffering, and when it's done my life ends; the debt is paid.From the perspective of the spirit world, that is liberation.But within the continuity of life it looks cruel to us: some children, before they're even out of the womb, are killed — abortion!Some, once born, don't make it to two or three before being beaten to death.So the meaning of death and the meaning of birth — these are two great extremes we must face in practice.Years ago Rinpoche was in a Zen temple in the south.The moment you walked into the main meditation hall, there was a huge black character on the wall: 「DEATH」.We often say: not knowing life, how can you know death.Rinpoche flips it around: not knowing death, how can you know life.Death is the end of life — the day you, standing on this planet, in this society, come to your end.What is your value in this world?What are you actually living for?You've already lived more than half of this life — what did you do with the first half?How does it feel?A whole life of toil — and where are we now in relation to death?Many of us say: once you pass fifty, you've already stepped halfway into the coffin, you're halfway down the road to the graveyard.So before you walk the rest of the way in, what have you been doing?Is your life worth it?Or is it just scrambling to pile up property for your children, scrambling for a house so you can enjoy a few more years — and then that house belongs to someone else?In the end everything we think about belongs to someone else, not to us.If you have no children, no relatives to inherit, the government confiscates your estate for the state.So this life is just a money-making machine; you earned a lot of property and handed it off to someone else.Think about the meaning of your life in this world and you'll feel ashamed: first, your spirit didn't rise; second, you still haven't found a second, third, fourth dimension — another world.So you're just a rice-eating machine, a money-earning machine, a suffering machine.So from now on, on one side we reduce the eight sufferings as much as we can, and on the other we raise joy and value as much as we can.Rinpoche talked last week about how to create your own value.Someone once said: whether a person has value is seen on the day of their funeral — look at who comes to send them off.This is true, because when a person dies the soul-light doesn't leave right away.Many psychics have seen this; Rinpoche has seen it personally — the deceased sits there at the funeral watching to see how many friends come.It's like going abroad or emigrating — some friends come to see me off, because they can't bear to see me go.But the friends he thought were closest, the ones who stood by him most — they don't come to the funeral.Why?Afraid of being 「hit」 by the funeral energy.Chinese people, Taiwanese people, are terrified of funerals; they don't want to go, afraid of being struck by bad energy, afraid of being 「crossed」 by ghosts.If our friendship is really that deep and you're still afraid of my funeral polluting you — then forget it.So it's heartbreaking.The first grief is dying; the second, worse grief is the funeral — because the people he was sure would come, don't.Ghosts have ghost-powers; he knows the reason they didn't come.Once a person leaves the body, they gain ghost-powers; you become psychic.While in the body, matter wraps you up and you can't be psychic, you can't connect to the dharma realm.So after death there is more pain: because you know more; you know cause and effect.You call out to family — no one answers.When you depart, your best friend doesn't come to see you off.Many die alone — they get thrown into hospice before they're even dead; the moment they stop breathing, straight into the morgue freezer; when the time comes, straight to the crematorium.A person is treated like garbage with no recycling value.One stops breathing and the family is terrified.Alive, you loved them to death; one breath stops, body goes cold, you're terrified to death.On that last breath — if your husband said 「darling I'm going; we love each other so much; come with me?」 — out of ten, probably not one wife would go.Sorry, if you want to die, go die yourself.In Taiwanese: 「If you're going to die, die then — don't come back here clinging to me.」 This is a case Rinpoche personally witnessed.A devout 「Yiguandao」 laywoman and her husband loved each other deeply, but he got nasopharyngeal cancer and came to our clinic for treatment.Rinpoche's father treated him and he improved — his nose cleared up, since the tumor was in the nasal cavity.The father told him: for a cancer patient, best not to engage in marital relations; it drains your strength.But those two liked it too much and wouldn't listen.One or two months after he got better, suddenly the cancer flared up again.He came back for a check and Rinpoche's father asked, did you two eat something you shouldn't, do something you shouldn't?He said: there was no help for it — my wife loves it, she comes after me every day; I was killed by my wife.That was it: he said that and within the month he was dead.His attachment was heavy, and after death he came home every day — he never really left, he appeared every day.Why?He had a rocking chair, and at a set time every night the ghost clocked in — the rocking chair would start rocking by itself.His wife was scared to death: 「You dead wretch, dead and still won't go, coming back to scare me!」 Weren't you two in love?Didn't you love doing those things?Now your husband's dead and comes back to see you, and you're scared stiff?One day the wife ran to the clinic looking for Rinpoche — she knew Rinpoche could do rituals.She said, 「Master, please, do you have a ghost-expelling talisman?That dead husband of mine comes home every day to terrorize me, the bed shakes, the chair rocks.Can you paste up a talisman or something, tell him not to come, it's terrifying.」 Rinpoche asked her: Didn't you two love each other before?Why so terrified now?Without the body, you're frightened.So that's the lie — all this 「love」 and 「affection」 is illusory; once it changes form, it ceases to exist.In this life we find many things that have value and many that don't.Think it over: receiving this suffering for no good reason is unjust.If these eight sufferings occupy two-thirds of your life, your life is in black and white — pointless.You came to eat bitterness; you did not come to play among humans.Either: this life is the only one you have — then play it well.Or: if there is a next life — then build the next life's joy well, and choose the position of your next birth well.Right now you have this chance; this time, grasp it.Tibetans suffer greatly, but they recite mantras devoutly, they turn their mani wheels devoutly.Why?Ask them: you suffer so much, why are you still so happy?Because I know my karma — to be born here is my fortune, it lets me cultivate merit for the next life, so I can be reborn into a wealthy family.If you aren't born in a place where the Dharma exists, how can you cultivate merit for the next life?Because they firmly believe in a next life, they say: Tibet has the Dharma, I can cultivate the next life, the buddhas and bodhisattvas love me, which is why they let me be born in Tibet.If I'd been born in Africa, how could I accumulate merit, choose to be reborn in a wealthy family, or escape the suffering of the next round of saṃsāra?Their state of mind is joyful; it's very good.But in Taiwan's competitive society, every day it's for livelihood, for profit — we don't think that way.Earn one more coin, haggle one more cent.So this suffering has worn down many of our lives.We've already passed fifty; we need to think — I've already wasted two-thirds of this life, so how do I use the last third?Of course by chasing joy!Don't turn around and generate these eight sufferings again!That's not worth it.Our lives — honestly, this one is already squandered.So, back to the suffering of the body.The suffering of the body: one layer is suffering inside the womb, one is suffering from taking rebirth.The second kind is the suffering you feel while alive.Why?You have to eat, you have to make a living, you have to pay the mortgage, you have to earn money — it steals most of your time.There's so much you can't actually do; you have to sell your life and your time to the boss, sell to the company, sell your life; you must trade this time for money to survive.So, honestly, being alive is already very bitter.Second: suffering of aging.The older you get, the more you know the grind — arthritis, mental decline, limited mobility, everything comes.Memory fades, kids call you stupid: old, mind rotting.Nowadays children look down on their parents and elders.Why?They dislike that you're old, dislike that you're ugly, dislike how slowly you eat, how slowly you move — they're impatient.Nowadays young people are impatient with the old.Second, many wicked daughters-in-law resent their fathers- and mothers-in-law: seventy years old, still won't drop dead, wasting our rice, wasting our food — my husband works so hard to earn it.There was an article like this.A woman put all her savings into sending her son abroad to study.After he graduated he found an excellent job earning about NT$2–3 hundred thousand a month.The mother eventually spent down all her savings and thought: I'm so lonely, you're all overseas, my son is successful, married, has a child — if I can share in some family happiness that would be wonderful; I can die happily.She wrote a letter: Mama is lonely in Taiwan, could I come to America and live with you — having a grandchild to keep me company would be such a joy.A long, long time passed without reply.Finally her son wrote back.He said: Based on my calculations — how much your living costs would be per day in America, if you eat three meals a day, how much that would come to; and if you have any medical conditions, how much that would cost — if you come to America it would eat a lot into my NT$2–3 hundred thousand monthly salary.I still have a child to raise; if you come, it will be a heavy burden on me.When that reply came back, his mother sat stunned for a long time: I put every bit of my savings into sending you to America; you've made it, married, had a child, and now you tally up for me how much per meal I would cost you, how much if I got sick, how much if I became immobile and had to go to a nursing home.Then his mother slowly tallied on her calculator: from the day you were born, how much did you cost me?Let's add it all up — just diapers alone, this much; just formula, this much; starting from kindergarten tuition, remedial classes… everything, enrichment classes, add it all up.If mother and son are going to tally money like this, it is truly bitter.The mother wrote all her tallies on paper: Congratulations on your success.I won't trouble you again.Enjoy your happy life.Then she sold the house and all her jewelry and went to find her own joy.She didn't go to a nursing home — she wanted to live on a boat.She took all the money and worked out a deal with a cruise line: I'll come onto your ship, go wherever you go, you give me a room, I'll pay fair rent, until I die.Every day she was happy: every day there's a server to look after me, clean the room, make the bed, bring breakfast to my cabin — more filial than you ever were, even asks how I'm feeling.There's medical on board; whenever I feel bad they take me to be seen.And when I die, a glorious burial at sea, no trouble at all — throw me in the ocean and done.That is calculating for yourself!Raising a son or a daughter — sometimes the return on investment is utterly unprofitable.So in life you need your own plan.If you don't think while young, by old age it's too late — because in the end we die alone.Those who come to send you off, do them the courtesy; those who don't come — that's also right.Son and daughter not accompanying you — that's also right.Friends ignoring you — also right.Death is scary; people get hit by funeral energy, get crossed by ghosts, nobody dares come.But at a wedding people come in crowds — why?Festive energy!Chinese people are scared to death of death.Really.So death strikes everyone as a terrifying thing — but every single person has to walk this road, and the older you get the closer it is.So in old age we feel resented.Long ago Rinpoche's father ran a Chinese pharmacy; Rinpoche will never forget — sometimes we'd be short of a certain herb and would go to a fellow pharmacist to borrow some.That pharmacy owner was close with us; our fathers passed the Chinese medicine licensing exam together, so the two families were well-acquainted.If we were short a catty of licorice root, go there first and borrow a catty.By the second generation running that pharmacy, the old father had had a stroke and lay in the room behind the shop.The entire pharmacy and its finances were an empire built by the father, but once when Rinpoche went by to pick up some licorice, the son was dispensing.Rinpoche said, give us a catty of licorice.He said, hold on, I'm busy.From the back room an old man's voice called — because of the stroke the speech was slurred, but you could still make out he needed to pee.He was calling his son to help him to the toilet.The son ignored the first and second calls; by the third and fourth call he got annoyed — busy, father yelling to pee; by the fifth call he snapped back: 「I'm busy, don't you understand?Can't you hold it?」 How is an old man supposed to hold it?Why was he yelling?Simple: pee in the bed and the daughter-in-law yells; pee in the pants and the daughter-in-law yells; every day washing your soiled pants.So Rinpoche often says: a pharmacy has arsenic, and Rinpoche carries two tablets on his person.If I'm ever humiliated like that stroke-victim father, I swallow them.That is dignity.When you're old, without dignity you die humiliated.A gentleman can be killed but not shamed — I will not endure that kind of humiliation.The son finished scolding, and after that — disaster — the father didn't call again, just peed where he lay.Then came the next worry: when the daughter-in-law comes home, she'll do the scolding next: Old-not-dying-one, wetting the bed, stinking the place, every day washing the sheets, airing the sheets, work I can never finish, having to change your pants, having to wash your pants.If he had defecated, the scolding would be far worse.Only seventy — he spent his entire life earning money, grinding for the economy, grinding for his kids, for his offspring.But the moment he lay down, you're trash — you don't earn money, you have no economic use, you eat idle rice, you irritate people, you make my wife yell at you, my wife has to carry all this extra laundry — my wife is already exhausted.And the son?With that attitude from the son, how could the daughter-in-law treat him well?So caught between the scolding of husband and wife, he most likely died bearing a grievance, with no willpower left, 「better just die.」 Very grim.Both of Rinpoche's father's friends ran Chinese pharmacies or clinics, and both ended more or less the same way — the second generation, the children, were truly ruthless to the old folks.So old age is extremely bitter.Children today think old people stink.Take an old person out walking: two steps and you're panting — fine, I won't take you out anymore.Shopping takes you two hours; I finish in half an hour.Bad legs, walking slow, you get complained at; so just dump you in a nursing home.Rinpoche visited a nursing home in Keelung and left in a terrible mood.Two hundred old people, mostly in wheelchairs, blank faces.Why?Every day sitting there blankly, waiting for someone to visit, waiting for who?Waiting for the grandchildren to come, for the son, for the daughter.Locked into another prison waiting to die, no escape.Strapped to a wheelchair, served by foreign caregivers — not children — eat or don't eat as you please; the spoon just gets shoved at your mouth; nobody's watching; if you don't open your mouth you get slapped.Can you complain?You can't — the children didn't come.Sunday visiting day is spectacular — carefully staged merriment — because we went on a Sunday, they made it look warm, students from local schools performed songs and dances for them, taught them to sing — every face blank, not a single smile.Rinpoche spoke with them — they're not senile, they're not demented; they're just miserable.No amount of entertainment will help; the heart is on the children, on the grandchildren.The joy of old folks is bouncing grandchildren on the knee — that's the highest joy.No one visits you, alone, waiting to die, strapped to a wheelchair waiting to die, one day after another, when will I die?Only begging for death, no longer begging for life — no dignity, only pray for death.Only, no way to kill yourself, and every day the foreign caregivers rough you up.So what's old age for?This kind of suffering of aging is more painful than dying young.So look — from birth, a heap of sufferings; all the way to old age — everyone grows old; we are all old now.What will we face?What do we do?When Rinpoche was very young he had the arsenic from the pharmacy ready, but thought — surely I won't die so early, surely I won't be humiliated to that level — so he put it away; and dying from arsenic looks awful too, blood from all seven openings, not pretty.So the suffering of aging: endlessly thinking, when can I be liberated — don't let anyone humiliate me, don't let my children dump me in a nursing home.And if not the nursing home, at home people find you a nuisance.There was once a thing called 「the parents' room」 — now people live in luxury mansions and nobody keeps an ancestor altar.Why?Ugly.Incense smoke stains the beautiful ceiling.A ten-million mansion, and you want to put an ancestor tablet in there and burn incense?Forget being fed — if the kids have money, toss NT$50,000 at a temple and done; so you want your ancestors, your dad, your mom, to come home and receive offerings?Nobody will.The mansion can't accommodate you, the old person — why?The guests are all VIPs; you, the old one, there, demented and incontinent — embarrassing.When Rinpoche was in mainland China, there was a very wealthy mistress of a real-estate developer, bought a beautiful villa — a mansion — and asked Rinpoche to come look at the fengshui.Walking around, up on the rooftop terrace they'd nailed up a little wooden hut — not the pretty kind, just plywood — in a corner of the terrace, about two or three ping, with a single bed inside.Rinpoche thought: with so many rooms, with the whole mansion done up and famous paintings hung, why nail a plywood shack on the roof, two ping, single bed, no air conditioning?Rinpoche asked, why do this?What's this room for?She answered: My mother is coming from Hebei; she stays here.Why not in one of your many rooms, so lovely?She answered: Old folks have bad habits; they strew things around; such a beautiful place would get messy and dirty with her in it.Then what's your mother coming for?She answered: To take care of my child.Mother raised two daughters, who in the end found a man and lots of money and a mansion — and the end result was, mother came all the way from Hebei because her daughters called her over to babysit, and she doesn't live in the 「parents' room」; she lives in a pigeon coop on the roof.Rinpoche right there read her the riot act: if you aren't filial to your parents, no amount of yang-house fengshui helps you — you will not have good luck.So nowadays what are parents for?To babysit, nothing of value.Society is like this now.So once we're old, we have to be aware: when that day comes, what do we do?You can't avoid thinking about it; that day will definitely arrive, you must prepare now, chase the joy of the spirit; let the flesh go.Third: suffering of sickness.Once old, you'll be sick.We just talked about being bedridden from a stroke — then what?Who cares for you?Who waits on you?We've all walked parents through aging and sickness.Many siblings — useless; most of them run as far away as possible.The unluckiest one is the one who's filial.Rinpoche is one of them, carrying your own sickness, your relatives' sickness, your parents' sickness — this suffering grinds you down.People say: the longer they live, the more you receive.If a family member or parent lives on, sick, however long they're sick is however long you suffer; however long their illness drags on, your bitterness drags on, your heart hangs on them.「When parents are alive, do not travel far」 — you never dare go far; a phone call and you're terrified: emergency room.Not one night of good sleep; the next crisis is always coming — oh no, heart rate dropped to the twenties, oh no, coma; oh no, moaning again about pain somewhere — rush back, drive like you're flying to the ER.Sick four years, you suffer four years; sick eight years, you suffer eight years.Why?Heart-sickness.His body is sick; we the caregivers are heart-sick, keeping him company for eight years, 「the eight-year war of resistance.」 Rinpoche has walked through this — walked through those eight years.And if he dies?If you're filial, next is the suffering of death.Either he dies, or you die.Why?He dies, your heart dies with him.On average, the more filial you are, the longer your heart dies.Why?Heart dies a long time, every day thinking of him, missing him, crying, grief — four years is four years, average about three.Caring eight years plus grieving three — eleven years total.Life isn't many years, yet in between life and death we suffer for over ten of them.By then, no tea, no interest in food, can't eat, no joy, no happiness, nothing to think about — the heart just stays knotted there, average ten years.Rinpoche spent about ten years in that; the fire of the heart went out.You won't want to make anything of yourself; you won't want to pursue anything; you live under low pressure.So sickness: the other suffers, we suffer.Death: the other dies, we suffer, we are ground down.Fifth suffering: parting from what you love.From the moment you meet, you are heading toward parting.The one you love leaves you, sent off — the breakdown comes on the day of the funeral: when the coffin is lifted, carried out — whether cremation or burial — the suffering of parting bursts forth, breakdown.Before that it's all a haze; only at the end does the parting hit.When Rinpoche had his breakdown it was at this fifth suffering too.Before, nothing; then suddenly it hits — eternal separation of the living from the dead.Dead at home you can still see them, looks like they're still in the house; on the day of the funeral, the moment the coffin lifts and goes out — eternal separation, breakdown.This person disappears forever from your world.From now on you will never see them again — good or bad doesn't matter, you won't meet again, gone forever.So parting from what you love is extremely painful.Sixth: suffering of not getting what you want.As said, nine out of ten things in life don't go your way — nine out of ten things we ask for, we don't get.Not getting is bitter; losing is bitter.See how much suffering there is in life — how do you escape it?That's why Śākyamuni Buddha, having walked through birth, aging, sickness, death, having seen these eight sufferings, resolved to leave home.These are the places that grind people, that keep people from liberation.So if you can see through these eight sufferings, your plan for life might look very different.Suffering of not getting what you want: often we pray for wealth, no wealth; the thing you want you can't get; want a house, can't afford it; want a family, can't form one; want harmony at home, can't have it; want brotherly love among siblings, can't have it; you envy how close someone else's brothers are, but you can't manage it; your brothers don't support you; can't get it.So many things we want don't come; so many things we don't want, come anyway.So the sixth: we live constantly in the suffering of not getting what we want; we want to earn, money won't come.Seventh: meeting what you hate.Resentment, hatred, calculation, jealousy — he's doing well, why am I not.We often live inside this world.Everyone running a shop — next door is doing good business, we aren't, so we curse the neighbor, hate, dislike.That is meeting what you hate.Eighth: the five aggregates burning.One situation and your mood soars; another and your mood crashes; a person's mood goes up and down, up and down.A single day a person changes more times than Sun Wukong — seventy-two transformations.The brain's shifts in a single day are more than seventy-two: now good, now bad.All day long we are influenced in mood by the people and environment around us; a word said and I'm furious; a word said that sounds pleasant and I'm happy.We're affected in mood by everything in our surroundings — that is the five aggregates burning: inexplicable emotions producing emotional ups and downs.Look — don't we revolve around this every day?It isn't just that these things show up in us; they also keep showing up around us.So can I escape this sea of suffering?「The three realms are a house on fire」 — this human world is a very hot, very agitating world, like a house on fire, you can't sit, can't stand.Plus disasters, upheavals, fear — all this is felt in body and mind.Birth, aging, sickness, death are sufferings of the body — bodily sensations.Parting from what you love, not getting what you want, meeting what you hate, the five aggregates burning — these are sufferings of the heart.Four of body, four of heart.Will these change?They won't.Only your view will change, only your wisdom will change, only your carrying capacity will change, your stress-tolerance will change — but these (the eight sufferings) will not.They play out, truly, every day.We wait each day for them to show up; open your eyes and wait for them.If not us, then those beside us — these very people — begin to circle around us; when time stops, whoever gets it, gets it.Who catches birth?Someone's child is born; my daughter has a baby, my son has a baby, a grandchild arrives — begins to bear the suffering of birth; child suffers, parents suffer; As for aging — many old friends around us, relatives, parents, and ourselves, all queued up waiting for aging to strike; Suffering of sickness — those around us sick, relatives sick, children sick, we ourselves sick — it rotates and reappears; As for the suffering of death — of course we've accompanied many of those around us down this road, relatives down this road; in the future, we go down this road, and those around us suffer because of us.Why?Your child will cry herself to death: mother was so good to me, mother made good things for me to eat every day, mother made good drinks for me every day — so you can't die, you die, your daughter will cry herself to death, why?No one to wait on me.So death is not only your suffering; it is also the suffering of those beside you.He/she also cannot die — if he/she dies, you also cry yourself to death; without the daughter beside you, suddenly very lonely, why?You hated how badly she behaved, yet felt warm about it.This suffering of death is not only your own suffering; the one beside you also suffers.So you cannot die either — those beside you will suffer themselves to death.And he cannot die either — once he dies, you also suffer to death.The hook is deep; it can't be pried apart, because you can't jump out, you can't leave.What to do?Agree in advance; agree first — one day, whatever happens to you, I follow suit; nobody suffers.But it isn't that easy — you can see through it, others can't.Best if everyone can see through — then nobody suffers, right?If one person dies, throw a party; everyone agreed.Just transfer to another world — rebirth.Rebirth is being born again in another world, right?The good thing about practicing Dharma together: everyone is close and compatible, nobody will grieve a year, two, three, over someone else's death — everyone sees through it, sees through.There's an old story.Laozi or Zhuangzi walked past a field, where a farmer and his wife were hoeing.Someone from the village came rushing: your son had an accident and died, aren't you going back to handle it?The two kept farming, without much reaction.Why doesn't it move you — your son is dead, why not rush back?They said: he came to be born, I didn't force him here; he's dying, I'm not forcing him to die; birth and death each have their own karma.If we go back, he won't come back to life.He was born — I wasn't especially overjoyed; I didn't ask him to come, he came of his own will; today he goes, he goes of his own will.Ah!Confucius said: this person's cultivation is higher than mine — metaphysics, cultivation of the spirit, able to put it down.If you can't put it down, you still have to live the days; it's just the grinding period is long.So we must learn to be liberated and to be free from suffering.The Buddha said: liberation and freedom from suffering — one is liberation, one is freedom from suffering.Remember!Let's learn how to be liberated, how to be free from suffering.Liberation: one for yourself, one for your wish that those around you be liberated.Liberated from what?Liberation of the spirit.Freedom from suffering?We just finished the eight sufferings — how to leave the feeling of those eight sufferings, to turn your mind.Freeing from suffering requires turning the mind; liberation requires practice.Sorry, today's talk has put everyone in a low mood, but these are real problems — one day they will wait for you; everyone has to face them.Better than putting a cover over the ugly truth is to say the ugly thing first — once said, your heart awakens.How old am I this year, how many years left?Rinpoche doesn't dare predict a person's lifespan — it violates karma and principle.If you look at the Book of Life and Death in Yuanchen Palace, this person is close to us, you look and he's dying next year — that's more painful.Why?You don't know what to do.Save him?Hard.Not save him?Watch helplessly as he leaves us next year — that's cruel.The country doesn't legislate that everyone lives to seventy or eighty — on the road to the underworld there are no young or old.Qingming Festival, go to sweep the graves — look at the photos, children's, young people's, all there — did they ever think they would die?They didn't; every day they lived happily.At the moment of death — my life was only this many years, and now it ends?Nobody knows how long their own life will be.So hold the view: I may not have much time left, I should seize much time, to do the work of practicing liberation and turning the mind to free from suffering.Don't go carrying karma — carrying karma means carrying suffering.You must be free of suffering to be liberated; if you can't shed the suffering, you can't be liberated.So first learn how to be free of suffering; then liberation can be attained.Our practice is in order to attain liberation — which is to do the practices that free from suffering.Freeing from suffering is turning the mind — redirect your heart's pursuit, turn it to another realm; and along the way allow those beside you to rise with your wisdom, and avoid letting them fall into the eight sufferings produced for you.The eight sufferings aren't only your own; those beside you will produce eight sufferings for you too.So a family is one grinding mill.The government keeps urging people to boost the birth rate — have more kids, make more suffering.Why?The more children in a family, the more you suffer, the more attachments.And if you're the family's centerpiece, then everyone's suffering is concentrated on you.Why?You absolutely cannot die; you die, how do we live?Big trouble, right?So everyone keeps generating the eight sufferings for each other, rather than creating freedom from suffering for each other — isn't that right?Each member of a family is either creating freedom from suffering or creating joy for each other — it seems to always be like this.So we face the reality that the eight-sufferings problem is being perpetuated.Take it in if you can — plan your life well.Of course what Rinpoche teaches is to pursue hope — don't be parted from what you love, don't fail to get what you want.We hope to create some good fortune coming in, good benefactor-fortune coming in, good wealth fortune coming in, and good thoughts coming in — this is the work of freeing from suffering on the side.Sometimes practicing meditation is also the work of turning the mind to free from suffering.So in liberation of the soul there is a practice called 「transference of consciousness,」 which transfers my spirit and soul into the world of the Buddha — leave the world, leave suffering; free from suffering, attain liberation — just so.I've talked a lot about suffering, affecting everyone's mood, but it has to be said.Each day take a look — alive in this world, am I here to eat bitterness or to pursue joy?Rich people don't skip the eight sufferings — they still age, die, get sick, still suffer; everyone has the opportunity.Besides the eight sufferings, as mentioned, there are also disasters and upheavals, the seven calamities and eight hardships, which are external.The eight sufferings are generated inside; external ones aren't counted yet.So add on top of the eight sufferings the seven calamities and eight hardships: earthquake terror, fire terror, flood terror, war terror — regardless, disasters add to the eight sufferings.Our time is spent suffering inside these, no further thought needed.Excerpted from a teaching by Master Urgyen Topden Rinpoche on 2018-08-11